Am I healed yet?
How do you know if you are healed? Is it even possible to heal completely or do we just learn to deal with pain that never really goes away?
Often times I find myself questioning: Am I really healed this time?
Let me explain. Towards the end of 2017 I experienced one of the most painful moments in my life. My romantic relationship with my best friend of 6 years had ended with an ultimatum. Either I could accept that he was finished with the relationship and there was no more us or I could continue to have sex with him while he would see other people. Yes you read that right.
When he left I felt like I had nothing. I felt like I was nothing. My body was physically weak. I didn’t have an appetite for weeks, and could not focus at all. I remember leaving work one day to go talk to a Chaplain that was on emergency stand-by. I had lost my identity, I had no idea who I was.
Let me just say this. Please, never allow a person to have that much power and control over you. I put this person before myself. I invested in the relationship more than I ever invested in myself. This is so dangerous. A partner is not supposed to complete you, they are supposed to add to your wholeness. If you do not take the time to work on yourself and become whole on your own before a relationship you have no business entering one.
